Certainly sounds like it, Neecy. (on the phone/living with OW)
He reminds me of a kid who goes off to college, and then graduates, is 25 years old, living on his own, but still expects his mom to keep his room and all his stuff the same.
I think you need to call him once and for all on the lies. If he wants to be with OW, and doesn't want to be married, that's one thing, but it's incredibly disrespectful to you to keep lying right to your face.
I had to re-re-RE-confront my wife on this, two months into her affair. Basically told her that -- REGARDLESS of what she wanted to do with "us" -- she needed to stop lying to our kids and lying to her parents, and -- worse - -making ME look like the bad guy. I told her I had proof of her affair, and either she came clean with our adult daughters and her parents, or I would give them my evidence. And I told her she had 15 minutes to decide.
I just couldn't handle the deceit anymore. I told her that "we've always taught our kids that it's NOT ACCEPTABLE to lie, and yet here she was, doing it -- DAILY.
We drove together to go tell her parents, and she told my daughters the next day. At least it was all out in the open, and from that point forward we'd at least be dealing from truthfulness as a family.
Less than a month later, she ended her affair, and came back to our marriage.
