its difficult to live in the house that we bought together when we were so excited about getting married. Because he's just staying with his dad temporarily, most of his belongings are here too. I am still sleeping in our bed. The house just feels so sad and empty.
It was exactly the same for me at the beginning (although H went to stay with his brother). Most of his things are still here, and I still sleep in our bed. It's a horrible feeling, especially at first. But is does get a bit better as time passes (I know that's no consolation at all right now).
Originally Posted By: lea123
I'm also a little angry that I find myself in this situation. I am envious of my friends who are seemingly in perfect relationships. I hate seeing couples when I'm out because I'm so jealous!! Is this normal?!
Oh yes! I still feel like that- it seems horribly unfair, especially if you've had a strong, loving R. Read Essie's threads for some good insight into this. She's a star.
Originally Posted By: lea123
He is a stubborn man and once he decides something that tends to be it. I am tending to think that he couldnt have loved me that much to start with if his feelings change so easily.
This is interesting. H is a stubborn man, but his feeling change easily? FFrom the point of view of changing his mind, he obviously does change his mind- because he promised to spend his life with you, and has now changed his mind about that. So he CAN change it back again. Ignore what he says about his feelings- he's hurting and lashing out right now. Given time, and DBing, his feelings will change. I don't remember reading, but have you got DR?
Originally Posted By: lea123
He does not seem so depressed now he has gone. He seems relieved.
This is because he's away from what he BELIEVES is the source of the problem. But it's not true- the problem is within himself, and eventually he'll relaise that being away from you isn't helping him. Give it time.
Originally Posted By: lea123
He is insistent that he has changed as a person, we have grown apart and he doesnt feel that we're right for each other.
Is he insistent because you're asking him often? If you are asking him/discussing the R with him, it's really important to stop. R discussions remind the WAS of the feelings they perceive that they lack. The best thing to do is to back off any R talks, any questions and anything discussions about his feelings.....
Originally Posted By: lea123
He says he wants me to move on quickly so I can have the wonderful life I deserve. I want him to be happy, but I struggle to understand how he can be so in love and want to spend the rest of his life with me, to this.
Lots of WAS speak about wanting you to move on quickly. They say this because it helps them feel better about their own actions. Only you can decide how long you stand for your M, or move on, but by being here you are showing what a strong and committed, loving individual you are. Honestly, I do not believe the words your H is saying to you. I think it's the depression speaking, as it was for Ali's BF when he dropped the bomb on her. And look at him now- he can't get enough of her! (Same for my H- he was insistent that his feelings had changed, and that he just didn't want me any more, but he kissed me in the middle of a pub 2 weeks ago).
Originally Posted By: lea123
Sorry for ranting
Don't be! It's totally normal to feel this way, and you sound so coherent in your posts. You're going to do this Lea!
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
