First of all you can't stop her from moving in with him if that's what she wants to do. And.....since she thinks she has it so bad while living with you, just maybe, she'll discover that things aren't so terrible after all. If that's the case, she'll be back. Also, let her know that you will continue to pay for her college, but that's all. She's on her own so needs to be self supportive. No need to be ugly about it, just matter of fact.
Best case scenario, she'll discover BF is not all that and be back in a couple of months with a much better attitude towards you and BF will be history.
As for her taking care of Ryan....this is a tough one. I think I'd tell her that she can earn some extra money by doing this but that you need to know she'll be reliable in regards to being there when needed.
I really hope this all works out for you and Ash. I'm having my own issues with Kelsey at the moment so I really feel for ya!!!
