Today was an unexpected pleasure during a hectic week.
Ash kept asking me if her dad had called (I thought that was strange) but no, he never called. She had called him last night to see if he was going to take her out tonight.
I had a day with nothing pressing to do. Unusual at this time of year. When I got out of the shower I heard voices and suddenly there were a number of guys in the house (all workers due to our reno). Ash was downstairs in her pjs and non too impressed. Next I knew I was told the water was going to be turned off! So I invited Ash out for the day since she was bummed about no date with Dad. Mom NEVER gets a day out with her.
So we went out of town and shopped and had a wonderful lunch together. I did remind her that her cel phone was broken (she put it through the wash) so maybe that was why her dad didn't call. She assured me that she had made that clear in her VM to him last night.
Anyway, we got a great break from the noise, mess, smell and hassle of construction and it was good to be away when there was no water anyway.
When we got back there was a message from her dad. If she didn't call him back he would be here at 5:30. Which was in 5 min! GEEZ! She called him back and asked if he had got her message. yes. But he didn't really listen and hadn't caught the part about the no cel phone. Dummy!
Anyway, it was nice to spend the day with my daughter. Tonight doing crafts and maybe watch a movie. Don't do that often enough either.
Barb, Aren't daughters great fun??!! I know they can also be a pain in the butt, and both our girls have caused us to wonder WTH at times but I wouldn't trade time with my D for anything.
Having a daughter was a lifelong dream for me. Reality isn't always pretty, though. This morning we were at it again. She left a mess in the kitchen, both laundry machines were tied up (2 days) and she didn't put out the garbage and recycle (planned to do it in the morning which she did, but moments before the truck arrived!) So of course we're arguing again. SHEESH - will she ever grow up?
She just came up from her computer and announced she got a 90 in Nutrition at college. She is very proud, as I am of her as well.
Today is photo day at the dance studio. It is a busy, hectic one. But the sun is shining and most of my work is done. Just one more week till recital and my summer vacation/possible early retirement. Ahhhh - I can taste it now!
I did remind her that her cel phone was broken (she put it through the wash)
WOW!
She must be my daughter. I wash my phones too!
Yup, I can't even imagine my life without my girls Cait, Linds & Ash!
Isn't it funny how at a certain point the relationship somehow switches and you become friends as well as Mother/Daughter? Don't you feel no matter what else happened we were Blessed?
Beth: I do see Ash becoming ME. SO much it makes me laugh. And, I'm sure, just like me - that's the last person she wants to become. More and more, especially since my Mom has been gone, I see myself becoming MOM.
Yes, we are lucky to have them. They're in a class by themselves! I remember the day she was born. I was jumping off the bed. The dr had to hold me down to stitch me up but he couldn't contain me. And when I got to recovery - there were my parents, beaming from ear to ear. She was the first Grandaughter for them. I gave my Mom a list of pink and frilly things to buy. I never got out of that party mode for at least 3 years! Wish her teen years had been as easy as her tot years. She was a joy!
There is an awful buzzing noise throughout the house today and the dryer won't work. I'm sure they're "reno-related". I will go talk to the guys about it. So far this reno hasn't been TOO intrusive but after weeks it does get to be a bit on your nerves.
Must go get ready for photos. Just found out that a friend is taking her daughter to Buffalo for a baton lesson at my other friend's house where the costumes are due to arrive. I bet I can get her to bring them to me. Boy - that just bought me my day!
LOL....when I read this, I spent a few puzzled seconds trying to figure out how the earthquakes in Reno, Nevada could be affecting your electrical wiring in Canada!!!!! DUH!
Ellie: Sounds like we were on different planets for a moment. How about "Elevator building related"??? Both the washer and dryer are out so I'm assuming its just a breaker. Maybe when I trip it the shrill noise will disappear. It is the security system and sounds like a loose wire but it is giving me a headache.
I did not plan to be home today but the forecast at the cottage was so YUCK (it's not so great here either) that I didn't want to be there alone (Josh is working all w/e). I have decided to do Spring cleaning throughout the house - not to save it for a sunny day and miss being outside.
Ashley just called with some great news for me. Told me she mentioned she is busy with dance recital to her dad and he replied "Yes, I guess I'll be getting a bill for your costumes. I don't mind paying half". Say what? Getting a dime out of him was murder until it was court ordered. Last year I never even asked for costume $ and this year I just never gave it a thought. But he EXPECTS to pay half. Well - that is over $200 to me! I did not get a CS check this month. I guess she is only worth something payable during the months she is in school. That sucks! Oh well - she is mine and I will pay for her. I told her she has to contribute for her groceries now that she is working.
My friend with the problem son called yesterday (I thought she was going to be away but had my dates wrong). She was cheery and upbeat. FINALLY! I was so pleased. But she called again last night - very down and depressed. Her H was watching their son while she and their daughter went to the movies. When she got home she found that he H had given the 17 yr old a beer. She hit the roof. I didn't think it was that big a deal. But she is furious. Turns out he had some friends over. The legal age here is 19 but I have to admit that on occasion I let my kids have wine with dinner before they were legal. But she says it is illegal and although he didn't serve the friends, the son probably passed the beer around. Again, I think she is overreacting. I didn't know what to tell her. She is considering cancelling her cruise since she can't trust her H to babysit their son properly. I'm curious what the rest of you think.
Her lawyer cousin who is representing them is coming to town today. She intends to talk to him about it. She also thinks her son may be getting drugs from friends delivered to him. I feel so bad for her but have no idea how to advise her other than to tell her that she can't make him do the right thing and it will be his problem if he gets caught. Not much comfort in those words.
Anyway, making progress and want to get back to it. 6 days till recital. Just 6 days. Can't wait till it is NEXT Saturday.
I'm sad today. There were lots of tears in my Cheerios. That is very unusual for me.
Ashley came home last evening after work and announced she is going to move in with her boyfriend. This was shocking and disappointing to me. She does spend a ton of time at his house already and she and I have been arguing about the typical mother/daughter stuff like leaving a mess in the kitchen.
Am I abnormal in my reaction here? Is it totally acceptable for a 19 year old to move in with their BF? What happened to morals and values? She says I've very old fashioned. Yes, I guess I am. I have purposely NOT moved in my BF because I wanted to be sure she was safe, had me to herself and to set a good example. I worked very hard to keep her in a nice house in our same neighbourhood after the split.
The BF is also 19. Graduated 2 years ago, did not go to college. Got a job that pays decent. Lives in the basement of his mother's house. Mom is twice divorced and recently moved in the next in line of her BFs. This is not the first "live-in" for BF. Another of Ashley's friends dated him 2 years ago and at 17 - she moved in with him. Am I the only one who thinks this is not right?
BF had a bout of depression last year and was off work on sick leave for 6 months. This at 18???? Unbelievable!
Ashley knows I'm not crazy about her BF but I don't hate him. I do see that she is happy with him - she's just miserable with me. She is difficult and unpleasant around the house. I know I should be glad. She thinks it will be a growth experience for her. She says BF plans to apply to college next year (to begin a year from Sept) and they will both go to Toronto then. She also says she might just move out for a month but come back.
OK, the twist here is that we have Ryan. And someone needs to be in the house every night at 8. Yes, it is always me unless I'm away. When I'm away my sis comes when we need her if Ash wants to go out and the nurses stay late sometimes too. But still - someone needs to be here at 8. I have 5 days left of work. Was planning to be away a lot. This throws a real wrench into plans for me.
Got an email this morning that my best friend is in the hospital. I have out of town plans most of the day but thought I'd go see her tonight. Said to Ash "Can you be here at 8 - I want to go visit K in hospital". Her response: "I have plans". Thanks Ash. I never ask. Gave up so many opportunities this week alone when my friends went to the movies etc. Cause I don't like to impose. But I want to visit my friend in the hospital. Turns out her "plans" are just to hang out at BFs.
When I got upset about what I perceive as her lack of caring and appreciation and expressed my true feelings about her "moving in with BF" - she flipped. Of course when she settled down she says she'll be here at 8. I told her I thought I'd be home by 8:15 but now I'll make it 8 so to go do her own thing - I'd make my own arrangements. I feel terribly let down.
I know that part of it is not wanting her to grow up and move out. She thinks I should be proud. I'm just sad. Sad for the way she has been treating me lately.(very unkind). She is in the same house but rarely even has conversation with me or goes anywhere with me. NEVER asks me to do anything with her. We don't even eat together.
I need either a slap, a kick or a hug. But I need to know what to say to her or whether I just need to let go. This sucks. This is NOT what I wanted to see happen when she grew up. ANyone else have a similar situation or some advice or the hug?
First of all you can't stop her from moving in with him if that's what she wants to do. And.....since she thinks she has it so bad while living with you, just maybe, she'll discover that things aren't so terrible after all. If that's the case, she'll be back. Also, let her know that you will continue to pay for her college, but that's all. She's on her own so needs to be self supportive. No need to be ugly about it, just matter of fact.
Best case scenario, she'll discover BF is not all that and be back in a couple of months with a much better attitude towards you and BF will be history.
As for her taking care of Ryan....this is a tough one. I think I'd tell her that she can earn some extra money by doing this but that you need to know she'll be reliable in regards to being there when needed.
I really hope this all works out for you and Ash. I'm having my own issues with Kelsey at the moment so I really feel for ya!!!
