Saying that Mom and Dad can't live together is a LIE.
To you it is a lie. to your wife, right now, it is not. So, you are telling the kids that there Mom is lying to them, as it looks from here.
Originally Posted By: kolle
I am not convinced that we don't need to tell them why. Even D4 wants to know why. At 4 one of your favourite words is WHY? I really believe she deserves an answer.
She deserves an answer. But think carefully about what message you send with it.
You have to be true to yourself in what you tell them. But, in my opinion, that might not mean telling them everything, at least right now. Over time, they are going to know, they will see it, and you can tell them. But right now, again, in my opinion, I think you are going too far in damaging their relationship with their mother. I know you've thought about it a lot, and I don't know that I am totally right. But I think it deserves another think. And maybe a talk with a family or child therapist? Not necessarily with them, just for guidance for you. I don't think I'll post on this again, I don't think it would be useful. But I'll watch.
