I know that we are both enjoying ourselves, but the pace can't stay like this forever. We have more important things to do, whether together or not.
Why can't things stay like that? What things are more important than your R with your wife?
Some suggestions for you:
- first of all, keep your expectations LOW and your Positive Mental Attitude HIGH. Stay out of R talks. This is your opportunity to show your wife you really can change. She may still move out, she may still divorce you because of her fears that you can't keep up the changes - but if you keep up your changes and are CONSISTENT, she may come back even if she leaves.
- If she asks you about your changes, make it clear that this time you are making the changes for YOU, whether she stays or not.
- Read The Five Love Languages by Chapman. Figure out which are your wife's love languages, and make sure you are "speaking" them to her.
- Figure out WHY you have been so negative and critical. Are you critical of yourself? Did you grow up in a household with a negative critical parent? Get counseling if you need to to deal with this. My H was this way. I know he's 10 times as hard on himself as he is on me. Still, it is soul-destroying to feel that the man you love does not cherish you.
- Think like you are trying to get a wild squirrel to eat out of your hand. No sudden moves, don't scare her. Slowly, carefully, entice her over to you. Validate, validate, validate.
