Thought I figured it out-but wait there's more

[Doingmypart]

Last night was hard. Knowing my W was on a date that she would not return from until this AM. (still not back yet) All I know according to her knowledge is that she went out with a "person" to a "time sensitive thing" and that she would return today. I wished I was in a place to fool around too. I know that is not a wise move, but I want fun and excitement too. I guess my commitment, loyalty, and overall morals are just a bit different. I am seriously questioning her character right now. She has made some poor decisions that I think she would try to blame on our sitch and/or me and where I am re: depression and my communication and over all relationship skills with her. I know logically that I did not force anything but contributed to our current sate of our R. Just wanted to vent some more.