Internet friendships?

[sandi2]

Well, haven't posted in a while and was trying to catch up on your stitch. First, I saw this that brought back some personal bad memories:

I did not snoop at all, although I did read over my w's shoulder while she was at the computer, she was furious

If that is not snooping....what is? My H did the same thing and in caused so much......I don't even know how to describe it......I could have almost hated him at that moment. He did it for a long time....and it is snooping! The same as if you stood over your W as she was writing a personal letter. She is in the wrong to be contacting OM on line. That is how she got into her trouble, but you were wrong to do that.

Then I read this and it upset me to think a professional doctor would do this to his little 4 & 7 year old children:

D4 comes to me (whole family is in the room)
"Mommy only joked when she told you she doesn't love you anymore. Ask her"
"No my love, she did not joke. She wants a divorce"
"What is that?"
"She went to the court to ask the Judge to tell me to move out of the house because she does not want to live here anymore."
"What is a Judge?"
"An important man who works for the government and decides what happens to people, for instance, he sends criminals to jail"
"Are you going to jail, Daddy?"
"No my love, the Judge will just tell me to move out of the house"
"Why?"
"Because Mommy does not want me to live here anymore"
D7 now takes over the conversation: "Mommy, why don't you want Dad to live yhere anymore?"
My W says: "Daddy and me can not live together anymore."
I say: "That is a demonic lie! There is a big difference between can not and want not! Don't lie to the kids! We can have a fantastic love relationship, you just don't want to! I LOVE YOU!"
D7 Goes historical.
S16 says "Dad you are EVIL! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

Are you trying to lose your entire family forever? You know better to talk to a 4 & 7 year old like that! You were trying to get their sympathy and make your wife look as bad as you could. They are not old enough to even grasp the concept of divorce, judges, courts, etc. You could scare them half to death by telling them that some "judge" has the power to take their daddy away from them and it's all b/c mommy doesn't love him anymore. Well, poor daddy! You not only lost your sons' respect, but I'm sure you have lost your family after that performance!

God knows I did not. I want to protect my kids from pain, but I am NOT prepared to lie to them or to have them lied to.
I WILL NOT ALLOW the lie that this D is unavoidable to live in our home! I WILL NOT ALLOW MY KIDS TO THINK THAT I HAVE ANY PART IN THIS D!

You were wanting the kids on your side! Face it. That was pretty low for a man to do that. You want to protect your kids? Please! The two little ones are nearly babies.....how could you talk to them that way? Of couse the 7 year old got historical! The 4 year old would have too, only she was probably in a state of shock seeing this displayed in front of her. What a role model!

Yes, I am guilty because I helped to bring my W to the crossroad. But the A with the OM, The D were her choices. She could just as well have chosen the other road.

Yes, you are guilty and you need to admit that, but you didn't bother to tell your kids that, did you? No, you made "daddy" sound like a saint!

Sometimes it is necessary to give a kid an injection to prevent greater pain later on.

Oh really? Is that what you called yourself doing? You are lying to yourself and personally I don't think it was much of a man doing it.

God knows, it breaks my heart. I just hope that S16 will one day understand.

Yeah, it breaks your heart......but it is b/c you are feeling sorry for yourself, not b/c of the children. You will be very, very lucky if your son forgives you for doing this. That performance will stick in his mind for a long time. Who knows what it did to him. Why didn't you just go ahead and tell them what a terrible mother they had while you were at it b/c you hurt them enough by telling them it was all her fault that the family was breaking up and that poor daddy was being force out of the home.

You think it will cause the kids to "side with daddy" but you may be shocked to discover it will backfire on you b/c you did not protect them. They were simply too young to digest what you were laying on them....and then to scream at their mother, showing all the vile contempt you have for her....you disrespected her in front of her own children. Do you think that is how a "Christian" man should handle this stiutation? Why didn't you just stone her and be done with it? Then you get the little girl to pray for mommy but then tell her that Jesus can't stop mommy from the divorce, etc., etc., Well, that just probably damaged any hopes of much faith in the Lord for your little one. You were correct in what you said....it is up to your W, but that little girl could not understand what you were actually telling her.

I can tell you one thing....if I were your W......you would not get another chance with me after doing that to those little kids. I can't respect a man that would act like such a "saint" to his family, when in your heart you know better! To do that to those kids and act that way in front of them. I'm not taking up for what your wife did, but what you did was just as bad in my POV b/c it left mental and emotional scars on those children.

You need help and you better get it before you lose your medical practice and anything else in life you might still have at the moment.