Refuse To Lose, Part VIII

[Nutty Chick]

I'd have to say that SPM may be more swording than shielding right now, but I don't blame him. I understand his situation too well as my boat seems to be in the same lake as his.

It isn’t wrong or bad to feel angry. It is an important emotion. Like jack, I agree it can be used as a sword or shield, I also feel that it can act as a vehicle, or at least fuel to take us from where we are to where we need to go. If we can channel it correctly it can be a catalyst for personal growth and development.

We all feel anger.

When my H said untrue things about me, I was as anger as an angry thing. Let me tell you I couldn’t sit still. It felt like I wanted to attack back. Instead, I went running, walking, exercising. I found that as the anger left my body a real understanding of WHY my H had said the things about me he had entered my body. I realised that his need to demonise me stemmed from his fear and shame. He misunderstood why I didn’t allow him in my home, he though I was hiding something and was concerned about our son. He felt shame for the way he had behaved and the choices he had made. He wanted to make me look bad to justify his behaviour.

I understood why he was doing what he was doing and no longer felt angry.


I went dark and gave him no fuel for his fire.

It soon burned out.

You know, it isn’t about suppressing or denying the anger, the feelings of unfairness or hurt, but acknowledging that, real as those feelings may be, they are simply causing more pain. Understand them and they will lose their power over you.



Nutty.