I have tons of things to do, but I get sorrowful and I tend to start thinking about H. I'm doing it now.
Certainly I understand on the surface why you get sad when you think of H. I think you have to dig a little under those surface hurtful thoughts. If you do some digging, in your mind, I would be willing to bet that you can find some positive happy experiences that you and H shared together. Why don't you try that. No amount of horrible behavior on H's part can change the fact that you had times of happiness together. Whether or not there may still be more fun and happiness together with H in the future is anybody's guess.
I was just thinking about the fact that H and OW's fling is surely going to be time limited. In other words it will run its course and will disintegrate in due time. At whatever appointed time that is you will be hearing from him again. Why else do you think he keeps putting out feelers to you. He wants to have the assurance that you are hanging around for him. If you continue to supply that reassurance by showing neediness to him then he will continue down his childish pathway. He still feels that he has you wrapped around his finger. The more you detach and untether the line that connects H to you, the greater the liklihood that he will feel that he is running out of oxygen so to speak.
I am sure you feel bad about following through with this detachment phase. It is surely something which doesn't feel right for you or anyone else who has to go through it, but it is absolutley the only way to get where you need to be.
Just keep going. You are heading in the right direction. No matter what happens you are going to reap benefits and profound happiness and joy from your hard work.
I am sure it feels good to have Forrest keeping constant tabs on you and providing helpful assistance. You are getting lots of help from a variety of different perspectives. You are going to emerge from this having learned a lot and you will have much to smile about and to rejoice over. Just keep walking the walk. You are doing great. God will handle any burdens you need him to. I'll be saying some special prayers for you.
Have a great weekend.
P.S. - I am sure in another month from now you will be post much less frequently as Kendall's day draws near. How big are you?
