oh hon, I am sorry. Take a deep breath. Look in the mirror and see who you want to be. From what you have posted and the guidance you have been giving, you want to be with your husband and son. All the "highs" you were experiencing with OM are not going to be there, at least not now and certainly not all of the time, with your family. When you were with OM you were not being "yourself" because that person was a wife and mother and you were pushing those thing aside in favor of the feelings you were experiencing(romantic love, puppy love, the rush you get as a teenager). So OM isn't really in love with the real you, it is the fantasy he has feelings for. The fantasy is what you have feeling for. Now I don't know many people who don't love a love story and at the end the family becomes whole, complete. They just don't show you the work that has to happen. There will be one step forward, two step back days. There will be days where you will start to feel truly alive again. Trust yourself. Don't got to your old e-mail account. Make sure your cell number is changed. Don't let yourself create any temtations. We are here, when you feel yourself start to cave come here, vent all you want, write down your fears and your hopes. You will get through this. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
