After reading NikB's update on her thread, I just realized what today is in my own sitch! Today is the day that H and I "officially" became BF and GF.....Awwwww!
Wow.....15 years.
Nothing special happening over here this evening. H is going to the A's game with his friends from work. He called earlier just to chat during his break. He asked if I was going out to do anything. I told him no, that I would be home with the kids later tonight. MIL has to work very early tomorrow morning, so I have to pick them up by 8pm. H said, "Dang....I feel guilty." I asked, "What for?!" He said because I couldn't do anything. I told him it's no big deal. I was able to do something on Tuesday, and I don't always need to be out doing things all the time anyway. He said, "Yeah....I still feel guilty though."
Hmm ....Could that be because he knows I'll be free for a few hours, yet he would rather hang out with his buddies than with me? Dunno.
Oh well. The peace and quiet will do me some good this evening.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Yeah, he's done that before! Where he'll try to get me to tell him not to feel bad about it, and I always gave him what he wanted to hear. Always told him it was ok and not to worry about it.
I didn't say a word this time. Did something different by just changing the subject.
It's ok for me to want him to feel guilty every now and then, isn't it??? Just a little ok???
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
It's ok for me to want him to feel guilty every now and then, isn't it??? Just a little ok???
Ummmmmmmmm,yeah! A little guilt is not a bad thing, keeps the world spinning on is axis! He might have actually thought about and figured out he could have spent some time with you. Even if not, good for you not saying anything about him not feeling guilty, again...not always the worst thing.
Have a great weekend and do something for yourself tonight!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Yesterday evening was relaxing. I went to my GF's house and just hung out there for awhile. Gossiped while having a couple of margaritas.
H called my cell around 11:30pm last night to tell me they just got back to his coworker's house from the game. Said he was going to hang out for a little bit longer to have a beer or two with the guys before coming home. This was all in a VM - I was already asleep and only woke up when I heard my phone "beep" (letting me know I had a message). Anyway, I went back to sleep after listening to it.
4am this morning, I was awakened again by the alarm on his old cellphone and realized my H still wasn't home. I got out of bed to check my cell and the house phone, but no other calls had been made to either one to let me know he was still out. Needless to say, I was rather upset about this but still half asleep and too tired to be really angry.
Anyhow, I called his cell once, then twice, and he finally answered on the third call.
Me: Hi, where are you? H: I'm at (coworker)'s still. I called you. Me: I know, but that was before midnight. H: Why didn't you call me back? Me: I was sleeping when you called and woke up when I heard my phone "beep". I heard your message but didn't think I needed to call back. H: Well, you could've called me. Me: H, it's after 4am. Why didn't you call again to let me know you would be out even later? H: Didn't think I needed to. I thought I could hang out with my friends after a long a$$ day of work, go to the game, have some beers, come back to (coworker)'s house, and just chill for awhile, you know. I thought I could go out for once without any problems..... Me: Enough with the guilt tripping, H. You should have called. It is called common courtesy. I am sure your buddies who are M'ed call their Ws. H: Yeah....and? Me: And I wonder how many of them are ok with their Hs staying out until after 4am. H: ALL OF THEM! Me: Right, and I'll bet it's because their Rs are different than ours. They don't have broken trust issues. H: (quiet....) I'm calling (another coworker) to come pick me up and then I'll be home. *CLICK*
When he got home (it was nearly 5:30am), he tried to do the guilt thing again, but I quickly told him, "Listen. I have to get up soon for work. I have to take the kids to my parents before then. I would very much like to get at least another hour and a half of sleep before all of this." He stopped, got into bed, and we both fell asleep.
H called me around noon while I was at work and said he was very sorry about last night. He said, "I'm really sorry, and I don't want you to be mad at me. I wasn't out doing anything wrong. I was where I said I was. Please forgive me. I don't want you to be mad at me." I told him, "H, I'm not mad.....It's just not fair to create worry.....10 positive steps in our R can suddenly be erased by one little mistake. You can't be accountable once here, twice there, letting me know where you are and what your plans are, then just stop because you think you've proved yourself enough. It doesn't work that way. It has to be an ongoing effort." H said he knew, and again he was sorry.
After work, I picked up the boys from my parents, then came home and had some lunch. H was still here, and we talked a little, mostly about work (his and mine). Then around 4:30pm, I drove him to his coworker's house to pick up his car (he had too much to drink and couldn't drive himself home this morning). On the way there, he talked about what a good R his coworker has with his W. How much they're in love, how well they get along with each other.....Yeah, I remember when that used to be us.
When we got to his car, he gave the kids hugs and kisses goodbye. He looked at me, said bye, and gave me a little rub on the arm. Told him I'd see him tomorrow. He's working graveyard tonight.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
....Could that be because he knows I'll be free for a few hours, yet he would rather hang out with his buddies than with me? 