Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

I know that I take things personally. Today is taking a downward turn. I'm trying to turn it around. I had an ultrasound today and each time I see her face and here her little heart beat, I think to myself..."how could this be happening to our family?" I hate him a little each time for this. For turning everyone's world upside down. For doing things the way he did. For not choosing to love his wife. Oka, I'm going to stop now. All I'm doing is wallowing. I'm just a little sad right now.

I'm trying to be really strong and NOT dwell on the things that I can't change. It's really hard. There are moments when it just overwhelms me (the emotion and sadness). But, I am finding out that those times pass fairly quickly now.

So, off to the weekend. I have IC tonight and tomorrow is my nephews first communion. The evenings will be hard. I could meet up with some friends, but I have a ton of stuff to do around the house before baby comes. The only problem with that is that I take breaks and then the sad thoughts creep in.