Bring on the Rain

[fightingirish]

Oh sue (((((((hugs)))))))

What a sh$t. Im so sorry.

You sounded so strong though, you can get through this. He doesn't deserve you sue, he deserves exactly what his given.
This is not the life you want for yourself, and you have clearly stated that. Im glad you are going to talk this wkend, he needs to go, you need to be away from the constent back and forth with him its not good for you or your D4.

Cry and get it out, it will help. **hugs** again..

[karen43]

I picked D4 up from school and she began telling me about her daddy taking her to McDonalds for breakfast & to play. She said, we saw daddy's friend there. She giggled and said, his girlfriend. Then she told me that she'd played with her little girl and said her name. Yep, H took D4 to meet OW.

Sue, I am so sorry you had to go through that! I mean a H introducing the OW to his D (and so young!) when he is still married to her mom! That is just horrible!!! My H and the OW used to meet at McDonalds every weekend when we were living together too! I never realized McDonald was such a big hangout for cheaters! I will never feel the same way about that place again!!!

My C said her H did the same thing towards the end of their marriage, they had plans to divorce but were still married though. Her H now says he regrets it; it was the biggest mistake he's ever made, and still talks about it to this day. At some point your H should realize that too and how will he be able to look at himself in the mirror???

Oh, and I totally agree with tal! He doesn't deserve you!!! Karen

[Rob1231]

Your H never ceases to find ways to amaze me, Sue. What an a$$. I'm sorry - hugs!!!

[SweetRedd]

((((SUE)))) I'm thinking of you. I'm so sorry your H is being a selfish a*shole to you. You did a great job in your conversation with him. You deserve SO much better than him.

Sheila

[SueS]

Thanks everyone-

It was really a tough night. I haven't slept well all week and then that happens. I've started to get that pit in my stomach again. The one that makes you not want to eat anything.

Last night H got home and I heard him come up to my side of the bed for just a second. I guess to see if I was awake. I heard him change clothes and leave to go workout. He moved D4 from my bed into her own and then came to lay down in my bed. He didn't try for sex, but got close to me. Not sure what the deal was. I've tried to hard not to show my emotions to H because I always felt that he looked at me as weak if I broke down, but they had just poured out in anger & tears last night on the phone & I think maybe I surprised him. Maybe he came in just to ease his own guilt. Who knows anymore. I feel horrible for breaking down in front of D4 last night. I just couldn't help it. There was no hiding from her. I'm supposed to be her rock and I crumbled. I made sure to tell her that mommy & daddy both love her very much.

I need some stability in my life. I know that I've gone through unstable times for a long time now, but I know I'm headed for an even more unstable time the next few months. I just need to keep my focus on D4. She's too important for me to fall apart now.

H just called me a few minutes ago. He is planning on being home tonight and promised D4 that he'd pick up pizza for us.

I miss the good times, but I'm sure ready to be away from this mess. I'm tired and I need some relief. My mom asked me if she could buy me a massage for Mother's Day. Of course I accepted! Then I think I'll treat myself to a manicure & pedicure.

D4 and I have a birthday party to go to tomorrow. She's so excited.

SueS

[Rob1231]

I feel horrible for breaking down in front of D4 last night. I just couldn't help it. There was no hiding from her. I'm supposed to be her rock and I crumbled. I made sure to tell her that mommy & daddy both love her very much.

OK, no more of that, Sue! You ARE her rock - you are steadfast and strong, and you are there for her every step of the way. Don't you ever doubt that, not for one second.

Some people might disagree with me, but I think that - every once in a while - it's not just OK, it is GOOD to let our kids see through the cracks in our armor a little bit. They need to see that their heroes are human, too - someday, when D4 has her own problems to face, she'll know that even the best of us are not perfect, and have to cry sometimes. And believe me, she will love you all the more for being so strong in spite of your hurting.

I still remember a day when W was off on a poorly-disguised "separate vacation" with a group of people that included OM. This was fairly early in my sitch, and I was still struggling a lot. Eventually it got to the point where I just couldn't hold it in any more for my D's sake, and I snuck up to my bedroom for a gut-wrenching cry. (D was 14 at the time, so I realize it's not the same as your 4-year-old.) Well, I really don't know if D grasped the whole OM aspect of the situation, but she did know that W and I were having serious problems and I was hurting badly. After a little while, she timidly opened the door, and then came and held me while I cried. It was terrible to have her see that - but it was also a moment that bonded us together in a special way, and that I will never forget. We don't talk about it now - but I doubt she will forget it either.

I hope you and she have a wonderful weekend!

[SueS]

Thanks Rob! I needed that. I just want to tell you....what an amazing daughter you have. You must be a great dad to her for her to feel comfortable enough to give you comfort when you needed it.

It just a huge hurt to have H taking D4 near OW. You know, my heart was healing a little and it felt like he just ripped it apart again. I hadn't called OW's H about it. That thought ran through my mind. He doesn't want my H anywhere near his children....at least until his sitch is final. But, I fear the additional damage it would do to any type of civil R that my H and I try to keep.

SueS

[lovelyolive]

I never realized McDonald was such a big hangout for cheaters! I will never feel the same way about that place again!!!

I never knew that either. My stbxh brought D4 to play there w/ow's kids last winter.. YUCK!!! The dumbest thing is that our H's actually think that our kids won't tell us AND others all about where they have been and who they've been with!!!

It just a huge hurt to have H taking D4 near OW. You know, my heart was healing a little and it felt like he just ripped it apart again.

SueS, I know exactly how you feel. It's almost like you can get over the hurt for yourself.. but, the unjustice that they do to their children in these situations is just a shame...

[LL44]

Sue, for awhile I was worried that last summer H would make the girls tell lies to me about seeing OW. I told him that would even make things worse, and so confusing for the girls. I might over read things, but I think they already have weird reactions when discussing OW/her kids (may be me...). I would hope your H would never put your D4 in that position.