Bring on the Rain

[Rob1231]

I feel horrible for breaking down in front of D4 last night. I just couldn't help it. There was no hiding from her. I'm supposed to be her rock and I crumbled. I made sure to tell her that mommy & daddy both love her very much.

OK, no more of that, Sue! You ARE her rock - you are steadfast and strong, and you are there for her every step of the way. Don't you ever doubt that, not for one second.

Some people might disagree with me, but I think that - every once in a while - it's not just OK, it is GOOD to let our kids see through the cracks in our armor a little bit. They need to see that their heroes are human, too - someday, when D4 has her own problems to face, she'll know that even the best of us are not perfect, and have to cry sometimes. And believe me, she will love you all the more for being so strong in spite of your hurting.

I still remember a day when W was off on a poorly-disguised "separate vacation" with a group of people that included OM. This was fairly early in my sitch, and I was still struggling a lot. Eventually it got to the point where I just couldn't hold it in any more for my D's sake, and I snuck up to my bedroom for a gut-wrenching cry. (D was 14 at the time, so I realize it's not the same as your 4-year-old.) Well, I really don't know if D grasped the whole OM aspect of the situation, but she did know that W and I were having serious problems and I was hurting badly. After a little while, she timidly opened the door, and then came and held me while I cried. It was terrible to have her see that - but it was also a moment that bonded us together in a special way, and that I will never forget. We don't talk about it now - but I doubt she will forget it either.

I hope you and she have a wonderful weekend!