Time to turn it around

[Jack_Three_Beans]

there is nothing 'small' about love.

[shewholurks]

Ask me what is good in my life today, Dar. G'head. Ask. Ask Jack too while you are at it.

We are all just people living ordinary lives. Not everything or even anything has to be spectacular in order to be satisfying or good.

~ swl

[Maya44]

Oh I agree with that for sure! Unfortunately, the way my brain works, that has me thinking of H and why is my love not good enough or it's too small for him.

But you're right. I need to be able to think of the things in my life and validate myself. Just another thing to improve on, good challenge.

[Maya44]

I don't want spectacular SWL. I just want some love. Real husband and wife love and I miss that!

Please understand that this is for certain all because of pms right now. Other times it may not be, but I was doing very well and held my head high before this drop.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Despite our differences SWL, that was an amazing piece of insight, and better stated than anything I could have put into words for Dar.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Please understand that this is for certain all because of pms right now.

Advice from a guy.

Don't use this on your husband as an excuse.

You say PMS we tend to react in one of two ways.

Run, stay away, hide.
Or we just see it as an excuse for bad behaviour.

"I'm sorry officer I didn't mean to rob the store, but you see I'm PMSing and I guess I just lost it."

"Oh, ok, then move along and get some Motrin...oh I see you stole some already."

Realistically, if guys used a buildup of testosterone as an excuse for crappy mood swings, you ladies would put up with it maybe once.

[shewholurks]

Dar,

I am absolutely aware that you are attributing this dip to the pms. That being said, if you know that is what is causing it you must work harder to find the good. You control your moods rather than allowing them to control you. Am I qualified to give this advice? I am not a doctor nor do I play one on the internets but I do know that as soon as I am aware of WHY {read PMS} my mood is no longer sparkly and twirly I do whatever I have to do to make sure it doesn't bring me down any further than it already has. It is learning to read yourself and react to the differences in ways that benefit you and those around you.

Everyone wants to be loved, Dar. Focus on the love you DO have rather than what you don't have.

~ swl

[farmtown46]

Dar,

When your at the doctor on Saturday, talk about PMS. There is medication for people who are severely affected by it. And it sounds like you are. Take some action.

And please don't think that if your H was in your life or came back, you would be happy again. It is not up to him to make or keep you happy. Most lives are just ordinary--mine included. It's what you do with the ordinary--light some candles on your table when you have dinner with D tonight, go for a walk with that cute puppy and your D and admire nature just beginning to wake up. Joy is a state of mind--not dependent on what you are "doing".

I miss being part of a couple and I loved being married. Maybe it will happen again someday, maybe not. But I refuse to "wait" and put my life on hold. And I hope you don't either.

[farmtown46]

Dar,

Have you ever read the book, "The Power of Now"? I read it last year and it changed my life. Maybe it would help you.

[shewholurks]

Despite our differences SWL, that was an amazing piece of insight,

Thanks Jack.

"Realistically, if guys used a buildup of testosterone as an excuse for crappy mood swings, you ladies would put up with it maybe once."

Emphasis on the words maybe once.

There are reasons and there are excuses. Know the difference. Control what you can. Don't find a way to justify your moods. Work on finding a way to redirect them.

~ swl