Well, I have some updated news. First, thanks to Karen43. I strangely am not devastated. Right now I am more pissed off. Not even so much about the A's but the lies after we had some serious talks that seemed so good. Second, PDT the tactical purpose of my snooping has been key info about where I stand in our R. I have been using this as a guide in some decisions. Now for the update! I LOCATED OM1's WIFE! WOOHOO. I just got off the phone with her & she was not too surprised. She was aware of their goings on from years ago and was under the impression it was over too. So she was VERY happy I called and is going to "bust his ass" tonight or sooner. She agreed to keep me out of it all & use my intel against him. She is going to tell him she hired a PI and that is how she found out! So I feel pretty good about that. I was able to provide her with some details she will be able to use and seem as if she really did hire a PI. She thinks they has been going on far longer than I had thought. She apparently caught him emailing/calling my W (before we were M) So that sucks to find out too. I am not ready to reveal my "hand" at this point to my W. I am still learning more and it is useful. At one point I plan to call her out and let her know all that I know. When the time is right. Or I may never do that if we can get our R back to a honest good loving real place. If that is possible?! Am I living in a dream world? Being too optimistic, or in denial? Not sure now, all I know is I love her deeply, love our kids and the family life we had. I want that back, and really don't know where it is all heading. I would like to do what PDT said about me changing my mind, but even if she agreed, I think she would continue what she is doing. Mainly bcz she is so "out" of our R at present time. She "mentally divorced" me years ago according to her. So to her she is not being unfaithful, she is living a single life. Keeping my head up and focused on me & my kids for now.
ME 33 W 37 Together 8 M: 5+ disconnected: 5 D: 2 D: 3
