I think your case with your wife is one case out of many, many others that would not work the way you advocate. If I were in your shoes, I would probably feel just exactly like you did! But, in most cases.....in most, I'm saying.....you end up losing the wife if you put that kind of pressure on her. At least that has been what we have read here on the board.
I don't doubt that, since this board -- especially lately -- has been censored to get rid of dissenting views. I don't think it's a representative sample (just as I don't think the pro-exposure, Marriage Builders site would be a representative sample -- it would skew in the opposite direction).
I worry about what long-term, passive approaches can do to the psyche of the already-wounded betrayed spouse. That's why I advocate a "fast-track" approach to ending affairs.
