I cannot force her to stop contact with OM, she knows my feelings and she is in the process of detaching and I know this will take time. As you have said, it is a drug, and addicts need time to get over that addiction.
Permit me to make an analogy, and let me know what you think.
"I cannot force my wife to stop smoking crack. She knows my feelings, and she's in the process of slowly starting to cut back on how much of it she smokes every day, but I know that this will take time. She needs time to get over her addiction. I need to give her time and space, and be here for her, and let her know I care, and hopefully, she'll eventually stop smoking crack altogether and see that I am the husband she's always wanted, and she will choose me."
I know a thing or two about alcoholics. My mom is a recovering alcoholic, and there is tons of it in my family. If my wife were addicted to alcohol, I would tell her that she needed to get help, and we would pour the alcohol down the drain, I would get it all the hell OUT of our house, and I would try to get her checked in somewhere to get thru withdrawal.
If she refused to do that, I would let her know my boundary: "I love you, but I can no longer live like this, nor can I let the kids continue to be around it." And I would ask her to leave.
Sometimes, love must be tough. I realize that's a minority view around here.
