Hey Puppy.....you beat me to my post.....what I get for writing too long! As you know I don't always agree with you, but sometimes I do (lol). I think your case with your wife is one case out of many, many others that would not work the way you advocate. If I were in your shoes, I would probably feel just exactly like you did! But, in most cases.....in most, I'm saying.....you end up losing the wife if you put that kind of pressure on her. At least that has been what we have read here on the board. Now, it's true that not all the patient and space in the world will always get the S back in the M again, but I still know from my own experience as well as reading other's stories that if my H had "demanded" or pressed me or continued to smother me after he discovered the EA.....I would have left him just to be able to breathe and to be left alone. I felt that I would die just being under the same roof with him. I wanted to get away from everyone b/c I was wanting to "escape" my world. I think people are somewhat fragile at times like this.
Being strict with your W and perhaps demanding her to choose then and there......it worked for you....but it doesn't for everyone and it would not have worked for me. I told my H to back away and leave me alone (even though we still shared the same house). He did and we are still together and still working on the M. So, as I said in my previous post, what works for one may not work for everyone, it has just been shown that in more cases.....patient and time is the best route.....that's what I'm saying.
Got to go. Still like ya Puppy...lol.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
