Newbie here needing some advice part 2

[thegoodfight]

I have spoken to my W. about our S. who sleeps in "her" bed every night. I do not believe this is healthy for either. She admits she doesn't protest because she is sad and lonely. I understand but you don't use kids to fill the void.

I don't bring it up anymore but I used to acknowledge when she was outwardly depressed and suggested help or talking to someone. She stopped talking to probably just about everybody and now just has our S in bed every night. It is a band aid at it sure isn't going to help our 4 year old, who used to go to bed like a champ on his own. Now forget it he has to have one of us!

Yes my W. knows the scars I have, sees the scars in her sister's kids as they are having an "ugly" divorce. Yet I believe Spouses have to try and fool themselves otherwise it would point out how truely selfish they are being. Once you have kids you lose the right to selfish when it hurts the children. I love it when they say I would do anything for the kids, I love them more than anything.

Really is that why you are breaking up the family and going off to be with someone else or at least telling their other parent they are not good enough to be a full time parent. In turn they are also saying they aren't good enough to be full time either. Very, very frustrating sitch. That is about the only thing that tears me up anymore is the thought of our S. and how sad, and pissed he is going to be.