I'm probably the single biggest proponent of "snooping" (intel) on this board, but only if it serves some tactical purpose, or helps provide a new, key piece of information which will help protect you or guide you in your decision-making. NOT if it hurts in your detachment efforts, or is done for titillation, or some sort of masochistic reasons.
What purpose is yours serving??
btw, there's nothing that says you can't go to your wife and say "Wife, I've changed my mind about us dating other people while we are separated. That was foolish of me to say that -- we are still married, and I would very much like you to honor your marriage vows until such time as we are divorced, and I, of course, will do the same. Will you please end your affair with him, and come back and work on our marriage?" Puppy
