Hi kiki- For years my interaction with my XH was similar to what is going on with you and your H. I didn't know about DB then and maybe it would have made a difference...maybe not. Anyway, I could do NOTHING right as far as my XH was concerned even if I tried as hard as I could. I always thought it was so odd that someone who left me with 2 babies for an OW could show no remorse or regret...only hostility. It has taken me going through this with my H to understand that my XH continually made me out to be the bad guy so he could justify why he did what he did. He couldn't let himself think of me as a decent person because that would make him be a monster for doing what he did to me and our children. I see that this is exactly what your H is doing. The only thing I can think of that might help the situation is if you find could find anyway to give your H validation for his feelings...to try to help him convince himself that he isn't a monster. You have probably already tried this many times...if so, have you noticed any improvements in the way he acts?
It is kind of strange but right now my XH and I are getting along better now than we probably have since we divorced. I believe the main reason is because we are trying to work together to help my S. I hope it continues especially for my kids sake. It could help if you and your H could find some common goal that could put you on a path to a better relationship...but your H is probably going to have to get rid of his anger first...his anger at himself.
