I breifly looked over your stich (I live in a small town, and the internet connection gets weak at times) so I wasn't able to read too much.
You know something...if it wasn't for divorce busters and all my friends on the boards..I may of went and had at least an EA myself...the pain we feel when we find out about the OW is tooo much..and for me, I was sooo lonely, my h was my best friend (still is) and when he left, I felt I lost part of me too. So the DB book and everyone here really kept me on track..but in all actuality I would of found someone to turn too.
Before my h left, I pretty much was in control of everything..It was hard for me to give that up..I was a single mother for years before h and I married..I was use to doing everyting..that too was in part why he left..I was a control freak..but anyways, part of my 180 is to let him run the money this time around, well, that to say has been very difficult to say the least. He used to spend the money so un-wisely, but I kept my mouth shut and would tell him I trust in God, which I do, and by a miricle each month, the bills get paid..and the money came in..I do let my h know that I "trust" him to do what is right for our D and myself. (especially I am the one making the money now, not him) and I really think that he is getting better at spending and he does feel like he is being the "man" now that I have allowed him to do the budget. Don't know if this is helpful for ya, but I just thought I would share it with you.
When my connection is running better I will read your whole stich.
