others thoughts

[whodat]

Me and my ex have been divorced for about 2yrs now.She has been in a relationship since the ink was dry,I have been in a few different relationships. I talked to her sister and she has told me that my ex is not really that happy.They all have told her she needs to go home,referring to her and I.She says she cant because of what people will think and we are divorced and she has to move forward.Do you think someone like this would ever come back or is it just wishful thinking?

[pcjohnson61]

Hey

I think if you really want her you should try courting, A good start would be sending her a friendship card. If she's a Mother,
I think a Mother's day card would be good. You can comment on her being a great and caring mother.

good luck
pj

[runningoutoftime]

I actually know people who have divorced (one was divorced for two or three years) and then remarried. It does happen!

Go slow. Don't expect anything. Start as friends and see where it leads.

[No_More_Dodo]

Me and my ex have been divorced for about 2yrs now.She has been in a relationship since the ink was dry,I have been in a few different relationships. I talked to her sister and she has told me that my ex is not really that happy.They all have told her she needs to go home,referring to her and I.She says she cant because of what people will think and we are divorced and she has to move forward.Do you think someone like this would ever come back or is it just wishful thinking?

whodat,

What do you have to lose? Pride? I realized a while ago pride is WAY overrated... I would RATHER have what I want.... Sometimes, you just need to ask for it.....

I would suggest carefully crafting a friendly e-mail. Make it light, upbeat and friendly touching base kind of e-mail....... Ask her questions about how her work, school, family or how other things are... If she responds, you know she is open to at least a dialog....

NMD

[runningoutoftime]

I think you never lose anything just being a friend and keeping expecations low. At the very least you may end up with a nice friendship with the ex... and one can never have too many friends!

(p.s. I also know of ex's who didn't remarry but became great friends. One is an older couple that even took a vacation together... just as friends!!!).

[braveheart]

Me and my ex have been divorced for about 2yrs now.She has been in a relationship since the ink was dry,I have been in a few different relationships. I talked to her sister and she has told me that my ex is not really that happy.They all have told her she needs to go home,referring to her and I.She says she cant because of what people will think and we are divorced and she has to move forward.Do you think someone like this would ever come back or is it just wishful thinking?

Who knows, but its been my experience that most people would rather live miserable the rest of thier lives than admit they made a mistake. Someone mentioned pride in this post, well, my response to that would be; if she isn't humble enough to admit that she did wrong, who needs her?

[No_More_Dodo]

Who knows, but its been my experience that most people would rather live miserable the rest of thier lives than admit they made a mistake.

braveheart,

That is so very true. I would suggest he send her an e-mail or letter opening that door. She may actually be dying to ask for forgiveness but needs him to make a tiny step first. The real question is the following:

Do you love that person enough to take the first step?

I do not normally think enlisting family members is a good idea. However, I think I would find a good excuse to talk to her sister and tell her flat out what the deal is. NOTHING ABOUT THE PAST. I would say something like, "Since my D, my life has really come together. However, I think it would be so much richer if exW and I could be together someday."

The thing I am thinking here is the exW could have sent the sister on a fishing expedition to see what you would say.

NMD

[whodat]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and opinions,I think braveheart said it best though.She knows she did some things wrong as did I but she thinks I would never be able to forgive her and maybe I couldnt.I do know there is a lot of resentment there and it would be difficult and what she has is easier then what she would have to deal with to reconcile.I think they will be engaged to be married soon anyway so its probably best that I admit defeat and heal my wounds.

[No_More_Dodo]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and opinions,I think braveheart said it best though.She knows she did some things wrong as did I but she thinks I would never be able to forgive her and maybe I couldnt.I do know there is a lot of resentment there and it would be difficult and what she has is easier then what she would have to deal with to reconcile.I think they will be engaged to be married soon anyway so its probably best that I admit defeat and heal my wounds.

whodat,

Whatever happens, you need to remember it was NOT a battle. Rather, it was her choice. This may sound weird. But, I would not take it too hard; do NOT think like you are a "lesser" man. I have seen too many people leave their M's for someone who is less attractive AND less successful. It is REALLY weird but true......

Take Care,

NMD

[JMC]

I have seen too many people leave their M's for someone who is less attractive AND less successful.

I have heard this expressed as 'affairing down', which is true with my W. The term implies that most of the people who choose to have an affair tend to do so with someone less good looking and/or of a lower socio-economic status.