InLikeFlynn - I told her father several weeks ago, but when he asked her she denied it and told him that I was crazy and imagining things. Of course now that she has told me, she asked me not to tell them as it is not nice to upset them, since she said they know that she does what she wants anyway and that no one can stop her once she decides to do something. I am tempted to tell her dad again, but I don't wish to burden him with all the troubles! I guess if she confirms it, he might not put the house he recently bought her in her name. He is a shrewed businessman and will probably make sure that the Iranian guy does not get his hands on any assets in the future. He may even ask her to leave the house!
I am tempted to tell her dad again, but I don't wish to burden him with all the troubles! I guess if she confirms it, he might not put the house he recently bought her in her name. He is a shrewed businessman and will probably make sure that the Iranian guy does not get his hands on any assets in the future.
It sounds to me like you may want to talk to her dad so that he can protect his assets from the OM. I normally don't really think it's a good idea to get into telling people about the affairs although I know there are many here that do! But in your case, it seems like your fil has a right to know in order to protect his investments. Whatever he does with that info is then up to him. Karen
I am tempted to tell her dad again, but I don't wish to burden him with all the troubles! I guess if she confirms it, he might not put the house he recently bought her in her name. He is a shrewed businessman and will probably make sure that the Iranian guy does not get his hands on any assets in the future.
It sounds to me like you may want to talk to her dad so that he can protect his assets from the OM. I normally don't really think it's a good idea to get into telling people about the affairs although I know there are many here that do! But in your case, it seems like your fil has a right to know in order to protect his investments. Whatever he does with that info is then up to him. Karen
I'll think about that over the weekend. Sometimes I think maybe I should let her get on with it. Go through with the divorce. Focus on my children and only act if something warrants it. I do not wish to get in the way of her happiness. I still care about her having spent 17yrs together, but not in the romantic way. I just think that she is not thinking straight and that she should take things slowly until she really gets to know OM rather than force his presence on my boys who would be very reluctant to have to share a house with him. My boys are strong minded and would not tolerate taking second place. As it is they are currently battling top dog position in the house as my ex tells me.
Anyway, it is always good to sleep on things. BTW, my boys are taking me out for my birthday tomorrow lunchtime and I am going out with my new woman in the evening. It is a surprise so I don't know where she is taking me. I can't wait!
It was my birthday yesterday. It was a really nice day. I spent the day with my boys. We had a meal in the garden. The weather was lovely. In the evening, I went out for a meal with my new lady friend. It was so thoughtful of her to get me presents that she knew I liked based on previous conversations. We came back to my house and had a wonderful time.
I just want to say something about how my experience with ny STBXW has affected me in the sense that I still have difficulty trusting other women. When you have spent 17yrs with someone you thought was your best friend, wife and mother of your children. When she decides to give her love to someone else. You begin to wonder if people can ever be trusted. Then I ask myself, can I be trusted? I sure know I can. Yes there are no guarantees in life, but people are essentially good and it is the sum of their life experience or their perception of it that makes them who they are. So I am not going to allow this negative experience alter how I view relationships with others.
I also thought about the sitch with STXW and decided that I am not going to tell her dad and I am going to go ahead with the divorce. I will sign the decree Nisi when I get it to finalise the D. Naturally I will act on any concerns the boys may have in the future about the OM.
It's a lovely day here in London. I spent a couple of hours reading in the garden. Lovely BBQ smells in the air!
STBXW texted and emailed four times since last night. She keeps complaining that her money is very tight. I am not sure what she is expecting me to do. In the past it would have been an automatic response from me 'do you want me to transfer some money to your account?' but Nada! I only respond to her when it is something to do with the boys.
I learned that from the best you know!!! 
Karen