Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[gForce]

Your comments about missing the physical contact really hit home with me. I also miss dearly the physical touch of W -- I'm not talking about the sex, though I miss that too. But just the intimacy of holding her at night, the feel of her skin on mine. When she was starting to withdraw from our M late last year (and now I know, getting involved with OM) she started turning her back to me when we went to bed together. She would let me put my arms around her for a while, but then eventually asked me not to even do that. She used to hold me as well, but during that time started hugging an extra pillow. Man, that hurt.

I guess I am not being helpful to you except to say that I understand your feelings in this regard. Hang in there. We all are trying to hang in there.