For the guys with kids and a WAW

[hopeful4her]

wdid,

It seems to be much different if your H would have know about your A. I think it to be easier for the spouse when WAS comes back saying I want this to work out but this is what I did while we were seperated. Discovering and having to deal with an ongoing affair while still living in the same house is gut wrenching. You also made it easy in reference to your kids. At least on him. We know that we both want joint custody of the kids, the issue is who they live with that we go round and round.

lwb, looking for womens point of view when the H wants custody of the children. For some, it is not an issue of who the children will live with. I think that most WAH know that the kids will stay with mom. It may be hard to imagine a different scenario in your sitch as you are not the WAS. Being the WAS because of an A and wanting the children seems like...well I can't seem to put it into words, but just wrong.

kat, I'm not sure if I have read your whole sitch, but I will and help comment later.

We all have our breaking points. By reading others posts, I can't tell if breaking points get stretched a little longer by being seperated or not. I know that when still living under the same roof, it feels volatile. Constant reminders that as long as WAS is still in the house, there is more hope than not. This seems to be an illusion.