Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

I'm feeling horrible again. H said he thought we should see a mediator. He asked if I'd go if he set up an appt. I shrugged my shoulders and said maybe. Then I said: "Will you go to a different MC with me?" to which he said why? What do you want to talk about with a MC (we went to one for a while and H would talk about nothing but S).

At that point, we heard d11 stirring in her bed nearby and I said I didn't want to talk about it then.

Isn't a mediator for an actual D? H hasn't even made a plan to move out yet or tell the kids. I can't bring myself to cooperate and go to an appt if he arranges one. Is that DBing?

I just cannot accept this, I am so hurt and angry that H initially suggested a MC, said he was open and fully committed to working on our R and then refused to do anything. Why should I go to a mediator and cooperate with him? Why is his reality--that he needs to do this--more important than mine, which was to save the M?

Again, there is not standing in his way, and then there is actually getting on board with the S and going to mediators. Isn't it kind of chickening out on his part by trying to get someone else to help him S?