After 3 long years, H is home

[GoingForward]

Is there a way you could pull a big 180 and go watch sports with them or something?

I did try once, a few weeks back, and haven't tried again since then. I was out there for about 5 minutes when H then asked out of earshot, "What's up? Did you need something?" I said no, I was just hanging out, too. He said nothing but looked a little bothered, and I decided a few minutes later to leave them alone and came inside.

And what about making him appreciate what you do all day (easy my butt) by leaving him with the kids for a weekend or something?

According to H, he does appreciate me for this. He learned what it was like to care for three children by himself, and he said he realized it wasn't easy. You can't just get up and go when you want, and their needs always come before your own. It's a small sacrifice, but it was a real eye-opener for him.

When we were S'ed, there were times he would have them for a day and other times where he'd have them for a week. So he knows what's it's like.

But in his mind, it is nothing compared to what he does to take care of us. My "job" is nowhere near as tough as his job is.

Maybe not physically.....But mentally, perhaps even emotionally....It can be draining at times.

Also some boundaries - maybe even a R talk. Say I don't mind feeding your friends, I appreciate you need time to blow off steam and I want you to spend time with them but I also need one night a week set aside for us as a family or as a couple??

I have told him on a few occasions that I don't mind him doing things with his friends or taking on some extra overtime every now and then.

I just do not want to see that his friends and/or work are getting more of his time than me and the boys. Family time is important. Our time TOGETHER is important.

He said, "Oh, of course! I understand that, and I don't want it to be that way."

His actions clearly do not support this statement of his.

Hope something I said makes sense. I am miserable with hayfever today and drugged up lol.

Makes perfect sense, Michelle, and I can totally empathize with the allergy issues! If I forget to take Claritin BEFORE I leave the house in the morning, I will spend the rest of the day paying for it!



ss2, thanks for stopping by. I will read through your thread and give advice where I can.

For now though, I must say to this:

I am thinking of filing the D papers as a last resort?

Do not do this if it isn't what you truly want.

If you're questioning it, if you're not sure if you should do it or not, then DON'T.