Competing Against Fantasy Girl

[Barbara66]

Thanks runningout of time. To answer some of your questions: I am here when he comes to see the kids. BUT, kids are S15 and S11. They are more concerned with playing outside with their friends. He usually ends up sitting in the living room, watching TV, eating my food, drinking my beverages, and sometimes moves to the couch to take a nap. I do try to avoid him when he is here, but then he follows ME around the house and wants to know why I'm avoiding him??? There has been no physical contact in weeks. I have not told him that I love him. Both of these are killing me! I have bought some new clothes out of necessity. I've dropped 35 lbs because I haven't been able to eat or sleep. Just now beginning to sleep and eat again. He has met the OOW. She came through our town while she was moving from MI to CT. He also was going to a Lobby Day in Albany, NY (for his job) and she drove from CT and met him there. I found the hotel reservation and noticed it was for 1 King bed and TWO adults (one was not me). He says they spent the night cuddling, no sex because of her "being on the rag" (his words) I then found emails, pictures, downloaded phone bills and found that he ordered her Mario Party 8 for a Christmas gift. She is 30 and goes to UCONN for graduate school. What 30 year old wants Mario Party 8??? Some of the emails make reference to her moving here (NY) when she is done at UCONN. She even counts down to their "fairy tale ending" in days. He has expressed in his email that he is "crazy in love with her" and he wants to "date her and court her and grow their love" He was calling her 7-9 times per day for 30-60 minutes at a time. That has decreased significantly. I am still checking phone bills, but otherwise have stopped snooping. The emails made me physically sick. I love this man with all my heart. I just don't know what to do, it has only been 3 weeks. I know this is going to take time. I have started going to church regularly instead of rarely (his mom & aunt go to the same church and we sit together sometimes), I have made some much needed improvements around the house (stuff that he should have done, but was too involved with World of Warcraft to care that stuff needed attention)I am exercising daily and making sure that my kids are number one priority. I am trying to hang in there. I want him back. I know that we can get through this. He is giving me no money, but does continue to pay the household bills from our joint account. I still contribute money to that, but have opened my own accounts and have been stock piling cash just in case. I guess you could say that I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I'm just not in the right frame of mind to try and figure out what I need to do as far as a 180. I am trying the last resort technique, but that is diffucult because he is here almost daily. He leaves tonight for a golf trip (3 days)with his father and brother. He called me to ask if I could find his rain gear (I told him where it was....he just never REALLY looks) Now he is stopping here to pick it up before he leaves tonight. Then I'll be upset again, I'll want a hug, but won't get one. Everytime I watch him leave, it is like a daggar through my heart!!