So, I am just stunned upon hearing W was taking our boys on a fishing trip, and without consulting with me first. But if that wasn't hypocritical enough, she then had the unmitigated gall to ask me, at the end of the conversation, about the possibility of "borrowing" my tent and camping gear so she can take our S's camping some time!
I said nothing -- I couldn't, I was so shocked -- and committed to nothing, refusing to even acknowledge what she had just said. If she was baiting me, I was not going there. I could not/can not believe the audacity and total mental disconnect she has been exhibiting.
By commandeering some of my "Daddy role" activities with my S's, I see W's actions as attempts to replace me as their father. While W may say one thing to me about how she would "never" undermine me in my role as father to my S's, her actions speak much louder to the contrary. Even if she never remarries or brings the OM (or some OM) into blatantly replacing me as their father, the message she's sending to our S's is that I am not necessary for that role in their lives.
Am I overreacting?
No I don't think you are overreacting and can see why you would be upset! I think you handled it really well by not letting her bait you (which I have to believe she is either not bright or was trying to bait you). It does seem hypocritical behavior when she is doing the same stuff (fishing) that she criticized you for.
I had asked my C today if my spouse could have mental problems he is so critical, controlling, and full of anger often. And I'm sorry but you know Nocode I often think your spouse is a lot like mine! I def. think mine is in MLC and maybe she is too, and I have to believe it is that which maybe has made them seem kind of crazy sometimes. (My H just has started realizing he will have less money after the divorce b/c he had thought for some reason he would have more money even though we will have twice the expenses?)
I am surprised that she took your S's on a trip without asking you or telling you or whatever. I guess you will have to work that out with your W if you want to be informed, as I would think she would want to know when you are going on trips. Or you can keep each other both in the dark I guess about these things. If she refuses to notify you about her trips I don't think I would reciprocate by keeping her informed about your trips. I guess I'm petty or whatever though!!!
I think maybe you should just look at this as a positive? You wanted to go fishing & camping with your S's and now obviously your W thinks it is OK by her words & actions. So I would not lend her your camping equipment & instead use it to take your S's camping and fishing!!! Karen
You wanted to go fishing & camping with your S's and now obviously your W thinks it is OK by her words & actions. So I would not lend her your camping equipment & instead use it to take your S's camping and fishing!!! 
