I beg to differ C2 but you are thinking clearly. These WAW's made a move away from their kids. They made that choice not to live under the same roof with them. While it's true that some men teeter between giving up one life for another, when they're ready believe me it will happen. They seem to have their own timeline. I can't remember if Michele was the one who said it in her book, but I truly believe that some people have to get the divorce to ever work through this.
Anyway, any lawyer who is worth anything will not only make sure that the house is worth the price that you've negotiated but will also take all of the fees that you would be responsible for off the top. If paying all debt off from that money is the agreement then there will be a court order in place to protect you. Also, they would make sure that a quit claim was in place by the time you refinanced and the bank would want that as well. My bank wouldn't even do a refi in my name alone unless I had a signed quitclaim at the closing. They do this all of the time but so do mediators. The must important thing in any of this is to make sure that you find someone who will work for you while making sure everything is backed up by a court order.
Cat, I am confused by your situation. How can he pay lower child support based on what you owe him? Those two issues should be completely seperate. From what I ubderstand, he moved out but expects you to pay him what he feels he would get out of the house, but he would remain on the deed and keep stuff their. Again, I am confused. Are you buying him out? I really think you need to talk to a lawyer, because I think you are getting screwed.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Cat, I am confused by your situation. How can he pay lower child support based on what you owe him? Those two issues should be completely seperate. From what I ubderstand, he moved out but expects you to pay him what he feels he would get out of the house, but he would remain on the deed and keep stuff their. Again, I am confused. Are you buying him out? I really think you need to talk to a lawyer, because I think you are getting screwed.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
it is a bit confusing. Yes, I am buying him out. I accept 200 less per month for CS and that difference counts as credit for me to pay him his share of the house. It is unorthodox I know, even his L said so that CS is not be put as payment, but we both agreed and the mediator will word it in a way that says that I am paying him back his share.
We went over the numbers, the mediator helped us determined how much he'd get for his share of the house, I can't add realtor fees since we are not selling-- I'm keeping the house and paying him his share. I am not giving away a red cent, we both win, I get to pay him back without actually taking $ from my acct, he gets to maintain a lower CS. It will all be in writing, it was actually my L who suggested that idea. On the SA also says that I have sole ownership of the house, and once I refinance he has no claims, he agreed to sign over the house to me.
We have no common debts anymore, he is taking the huge cc he brought with him back in 2006 when he came back after 8mths of separation.
By accepting to receive 21k instead of 23,300 it is almost like he is helping me pay for a percentage of the refinancing.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
well, it is done, I got an even lower rate on the refinancing and stbx agreed to get his stuff out of the house by Sept. 1rs and will have kids at his own place by then.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
