Thankfully I'm out of my blue mood.. I've gone from that into an almost indifferent mood.. although I've had a R talk with my H.. I know it's a no no but I felt semi confident that we are currently secure in our friendship mode.. So I asked him if we are exclusive.. as in are we together but just living apart right now.. and if this is the case how long does he see us living this way?
He said yes, that there isn't anyone else. That he wants to be with me.. but that he still has some mental work that he has to do... and that he does not know when we'll all be living under the same roof again.
I know its a backslide to have this kind of talk.. and I know that he could be lying (since we're not supposed to listen to what they say.. but pay attention to what they do)... But I just wanted to talk about something real.. something important.. not that his work isn't important.. or my yoga and career counseling isn't important... it's just not the same.
So you can 2x4 me if you want... I know it was against the DBing way...
No, I don't think it was a backslide. All situations are different. Last week I talked to my H I got the "I don't want a D, you can't push me", so, I would consider it a positive in my case. Same with you. I think if you go on with no pushing he'll do what he has to do and he will be coming around. Just stay patient. K
W2G, you felt it was the right time to talk to him about your R which means you saw his actions over the past little while telling you that everything looked as if it were going to be OK. So I say you did a good job with that. It is also great in his answer to you. Keep it up, you are moving forward.
Darn it, I haven't whacked anyone with a 2x4 in a while and I don't think I can with you today.
I read that as positive, but again focus on his actions and not his words. When you challange a guy like that he is likely to tell you what he thinks you want to hear just to avoid an issue. Guys tend to do that.
I also don't think it was a backslide. It's not like you've been pursuing him constantly and trying to have R talks. You've given him a lot of space over the last few months. You felt comfortable enough to bring up R talk at this time. There is nothing wrong with that. Try not to bring it up again for some time. I think you and I are at about the same stage in our sitch (although in my case there's still some contact with OW). I can feel my H wanting to come back to the M but some things are still holding him back, mostly his own issues (like your H). My H has also told me he's very much afraid of hurting me and doesn't want to hurt me again. It may be the same with your H. I certainly understand how frustrating it is but try to be patient.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thanks for not slamming me with 2x4's.. much appreciated!
I am going to participate in a Karaoke competition tonight.. I'm a bit nervous. I haven't sang publicly in a very long time!
The competition is hosted by a country station.. and I haven't listen to country really for a good few years so I wasn't sure what I'd sing.. then I remembered when I was in Vegas with my sister many, many years ago.. and we did Karaoke.. and they had "Is it Over Yet" by Wynonna Judd.. I thought I did really well with it.. so hopefully I can try that one again.
Here are the lyrics.. It's an LBS song
"Is It Over Yet"
Tell me when I can open my eyes I don't want to watch you walk out that door There's no easy way to get through goodbye I'd probably try and talk you into staying once more
Or I'd lie and say it's all for the best Wish you luck and say I have no regrets But I'm not up to being strong So I'll wait until you're gone Is it over yet, is it over yet?
A taxi's waiting in the driveway for you You call my name, I guess your ready to leave I'd like to help you with a suitcase or two But I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up down on my knees
I should tell you that I want you to go I really need to spend some time on my own Smile and say goodbye So you don't see me dying inside Is it over yet, is it over yet?
I should lie and say it's all for the best Wish you luck and say I have no regrets But I'm not up to being strong So I'll wait until your gone Is it over yet, is it over yet?
