I have been pondering a very disturbing development with W that occurred on Saturday. So many things have been happening the last few days that it got glossed over, but I have mentioned it to friends and confidants.
This may seem like a nit I'm picking, but when I called Saturday morning to talk to our S's, as normal, they told me that "Mommy" was taking them fishing -- they were taking my call on the road to a local state park with a lake for the purpose of going fishing.
I touched on this briefly here and here in the DB forums. Basically, I tried to start some father-son activities with my S's last summer, including camping and fishing -- and after having applauded my efforts at first, W began to criticize me and to resist our outings. It came to a head when I took the boys fishing last Labor Day weekend and W had a major conniption fit when she couldn't get a hold of us via cellphone. Some of you will also recall that W has also objected to my plans to begin camping with them on the pretense they're "too young" and can't be kept under control by one lone parent. She argued from the standpoint of child safety, to which I have acquiesced for the sake of peace. I told myself our S's will be old enough to go with me on camping/fishing trips sooner than we realize. Since then W has more than once criticized me for purchasing a tent and a whole bunch of camping equipment when I can't use them with our S's right now (she has become quite accomplished now at being -- pardon the expression -- a b*tch.)
So, I am just stunned upon hearing W was taking our boys on a fishing trip, and without consulting with me first. But if that wasn't hypocritical enough, she then had the unmitigated gall to ask me, at the end of the conversation, about the possibility of "borrowing" my tent and camping gear so she can take our S's camping some time!
I said nothing -- I couldn't, I was so shocked -- and committed to nothing, refusing to even acknowledge what she had just said. If she was baiting me, I was not going there. I could not/can not believe the audacity and total mental disconnect she has been exhibiting.
By commandeering some of my "Daddy role" activities with my S's, I see W's actions as attempts to replace me as their father. While W may say one thing to me about how she would "never" undermine me in my role as father to my S's, her actions speak much louder to the contrary. Even if she never remarries or brings the OM (or some OM) into blatantly replacing me as their father, the message she's sending to our S's is that I am not necessary for that role in their lives.
