This is a big decision for her. The fact that my son would start school in Sept. had me pushing things to get done as well. I stay home with him so I knew I would need to get a job, get settled, etc. I didn't want so many changes for my son...new school, less mommy time, new home with mommy, all of that.....I actually wanted to have some things done before school because I thought that would be too much transition all at once for son. Even though I tried to think of how to do figure this all out, I knew deep inside that a divorce was so unfair to my son. But, like I've said before, people kept saying "being in a loveless marriage is worst for him" and I thought for sure I would never be in love with H again because I had found what I thought was "love".
Ok, I am going to tell you something kind of wierd... I remember doing the whole dinner with the family, being the wonderful homemaker, etc. while with the OM. I felt all "full", what I mean is.....I had all my needs met, I had my family, got to be the mom at home that I wanted to be, and I had my "love needs" met by the OM. I was complete. I know how sick this sounds, but it was like I could handle it all this way. If I thought I'd only have one of these two options, I felt incomplete. Something to ponder anyway.......
How you are being with her is perfect. My H did all of that and he didn't even read the DB principles. She is sad because she knows she is hurting you, and she is feeling guilty as well. She is so torn.
She can't imagine not being with the OM. She would be so sad. Keep showing her that life with you would be better than the OM...she would get her kids AND love like no other. She is still so clouded....she feels like you are great but that she is not in love with you........The guilt needs to be there....she needs to feel like this is wrong so she can repent and reallllllly try.
Keep it going. You are doing the right things.
Retrouvaille would be great, especially if it is maybe 1-2 weeks after she stops contacting OM...she will need it the most.....
