The flame is flickering out...

[Nutty Chick]

[quote=SirPrizeMe]


WOW! That was some post.

I "get" that I was in a marriage, I am human, imperfect. I also "get" that I am willing to address my faults and do the work. You're right, I am angry with my wife. I believe she destroyed something beautiful. I am angry with her for perceiving abuse where there was none. I am angry with her being so cavalier with our family, inviting a man into our bed, with our children sleeping in the next room. If we cannot be angry about these things, what will we be angry about? Where is the line?

You have every right to be angry. Venting your anger to your wife has frightened her. How is this going to improve your relationship with her?

Yes I am talking to friends of the family and to "her" family too. This may not be the case for everyone but when I got married it was the union of two families. Not just two people. They are not "her family" nor "her friends". They are our family and friends. She does not "own" people. She does not get to say who I can and cannot talk to.

As for whether I am aware that she will be hurt - hurt in what way? By the truth? If she is "hurt" by my exposing her deceit to her father, then so be it. If she is "hurt" when I tell her sister what is in the public record - that is to say, that she is accusing me of sexual abuse, if she is "hurt" by this, then it is a darn regrettable shame, but I will not stand.

Her sister has asked you not to talk to her about the sexual abuse. Her friends say you are intimidating them.

Yet you still justify your behaviour. How is this going to improve your relationship with your wife?

Is it more important for you to be right than to have a better relationship with your W?

She may be hurt because you are involving people around you in your argument with your wife. If she has made allegations about you then can defend yourself through the proper channels. It is nothing to do with her sister or friends if she is accusing you of sexual abuse.

Let me ask you something - if a man were married to a raving drunk, and she were coming home every night at 4am loaded, missing work and crashing cars - would the man be wrong to inform her friends and family what he sees? I am not saying my wife is a drunk, it is a hypothetical question. Would the man be wrong? Keep in mind that surely the drunk woman would surely be embarassed and "hurt" by the revelation of her antics. Would the man be wrong?

How would the man gossiping to friends and family help the woman in this situation?

Now switch it. The woman is not drunk, but she is flinging false allegations everywhere. She is maligning me publicly. She is keeping me from my kids unnecessarily, unfairly, and in a way that is damaging to these young people. Shall I bite my tongue because the poor girl will be "hurt" that people realize what she is doing?

You say they are false, she says they are true. It would be up to a court of law to decide. Not family, friends or anyone else.

Will have to reply to rest later as I am running late.

Nutty.