Sorry Forrest....I will break this habit soon! (he hates when I do ----->).
RWS - great, great posts. Thank you. Last night H called to ask how the Dr. appt went. I waited an hour and texted back that it went fine, she was good, but breach (for now). And, I told him about my next appt on Friday. He just said "ok" I didn't respond. ---------->that was good.
Then he called to talk about specifics at the appointment. He asked me what I did the night before and I told him that I went to the Angel game. -------->that was bad. Answer specifics about the appointment. When he asked what did you do? I would of said "I have something in the oven, I have to go" and I would of hung up.
Then he asked with who. I dodged it, first by telling him to hold on and walked away from the phone, then I totally started a new subject when I came back. -------->that's better, but it should of never gotten "there".
H said he needed to call me back in a half hour. I said, "I probably won't answer. I'm going to bed." That's a first for me. Usually, I just say "ok". -------->I would of said, have a good night and hung up. I would of not said "I probably won't answer"...... that tells him you are playing hard to get... you don't want to "tell" him verbatim... you just want to "do it".
Don't worry about offending me, usually it stings at first, then I'm over it. Blunt is fine. Ask Nik. -------->good, because It's not meant to hurt you!!
I am taking care of baby and I, first and foremost. I am actually having days where I don't give a sh!t about what H is doing or the sitch. It feels great. Now, those times are usually pretty short, but I am having more of them. That's a positive step to me. ------->great step!!
As for the OW - if you read through my thread, you can see that she seems a bit desperate. She has 2 kids from a guy who would not marry her (wonder why). She moved my H (married man with prego wife) into her apt from day 1, he pays no rent, no utilities and no food. He spends all his money on toys and what he owes me. So, I'm not really sure what her story is, but I can't imagine that she's some prize. Sorry if that seems petty or bitter, but if the shoe fits. ------->she's wanting a babydaddy. He will figure that one out soon... but than again... as I said "you can't fix stupid".
I would not withold info about the baby from H. As a matter of fact, I told him that he could be as involved in the prenancy as he wants. In the beginning, he was great. He came to every appointment and checked up on me often. Now, he doesn't come to appointments and rarely asks how things are going. I tell him about each appointment, so he is aware when they are. He chooses NOT to attend. But, part of me wonders if that is partially due to pressure from OW. ------->could be and that's his choice. Document the days you tell him!
Clarify what issue you think OW might be pushing? You stated that she might push the issue and It could come back to get me. Knowing that she has 2 children of her own, that do not live with her, she doesn't have them on the weekends, either. I'm not sure how much contact she actually has with them or why they don't live with her. I know that they are with their grandparents or their father the majority of the time. I can't imagine that she wants to care for my child. But, it's a scary possibility that I am keeping an eye on and trying to prepare as much as possible. --------->Having been a NCM for 10 years, I can say that not all moms without their kids are bad people. Some just have better ex's with Judical strings. However, her NOT having her kids could give her more of a reason to try to get yours. You don't know her situation. But having two baby daddies... I don't think you have alot to worry about. Do keep your eye out, that's all.
FG - good call and as a matter of fact, I am going to document the missed appointment, as well as all the purchases I have made where H has NOT contributed (crib, bedding, diapers, etc) just in case it helps at all. -------->document everything.
I hate that our dream to start a family has turned into this. We tried soooo hard for Kendall, to get her here. I can't even imagine where his head is at that he is willing to throw it away. --------->You can't fix stupid".
Now.. one note on the documentation. While you have a journal on the internet, keep one personally. Even if you have to go back with your notes from here... Judges do not typically use internet boards as a form of "evidence". Emails are being used more and more, but some times they are "iffy". EDITED - Advertisements are NOT ALLOWED.
