My reply differs from Almost's but it will give you another perspective.
When I began my R with Josh 4 years ago, I also had a similar situation to you. No, he did not have a live in female roomie but a good female friend who I thought liked him too much and that he couldn't see it. He also didn't call always when he said he would and it drove me nuts. Can you say "Trust Issues". Then, when I was at the 3 month mark he took a 3 month job out of town. Yes, he flew home on w/e and one time I flew out to be with him, but still.
So, one thing at a time. The girl I could do nothing about but I did ask to meet her. Still hasn't happened but he only sees her about once every year or so now. So that problem went away.
The phone. Well, I would really suck it up and NOT be pissy when he called or it would drive him away just as you say. I did kind of casually mention a few times "Oh, I thought you were going to call last night" and see what he said. Then one night he didn't call. Or the next. So I went out. I was at the cottage and overcome with anger. I just fumed the next day. Finally settled myself down and made a list of his good traits and his not so good. His good traits won out by a mile and got me through a bad morning. A while later I went to town. I was halfway there when my cel phone rang. I hadn't had it one for a few days. Why would I? I was at the cottage. It was him, midday, calling from work. He is an exec - he NEVER calls me from work. But he was panicky. He had lost the cottage phone number. Had been unable to reach me. Knew I would be pissed.
Guess what? He has NEVER missed phoning when he said he would since then. It was kind of like me making myself "unavailable" though it was not something I planned. It just happened. It is kind of funny, really - worked like a charm.
So, I guess you have to assess whether he is worth it or not. Yes, there are others out there. I didn't find any in my search, though, but that is just me. If you think he is worth keeping around - why not try what I did and see if it works.
