Hi, girl! Glad to see you again! I def. think H is going through a MLC, so hopefully when he gets over it things will hopefully improve & get a bit better I hope!!!
I am so excited! The theatre manager just called and asked me to be one of the 2 tour guides they are going to have for some kind of Haunted House Tour for our town's festival Saturday (rumor is there is a ghost that lives in the theatre so I guess I will find out more about that).
I will be wearing one of my costumes from the play (app. it was already decided they want me to wear the skintight, black sexy one! and I will lead tours through the theatre all day Saturday. He did say there would be a script (I get at a meeting tomorrow night) but they still want us to be creative uh-oh! I think this will be a little scary (I'm actually kind of shy you know) but think this will be a lot of fun, too! I think it was so nice they thought of me for this! Karen
These two sentences I would alter just a bit, from
I would feel better if you didn't dismiss her without at least talking to her once. If you talked to her and still feel the same way, that we should try another therapist, then I would agree and be supportive.
to
I would appreciate it so much if you would talk to her at least once. If you still feel that we should try another therapist, I would be supportive of your decision.
Good luck...let us know!
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Thank you SG and Kat!!! SG I sent the email to my H with the changes you suggested and it worked. He said he doesn't want the kids to see her but will talk to her first before making a decision. I think he is pretty confident he will just talk to her and then tell me to find another therapist for the kids, but I think it will be tougher than he thinks to reject the C b/c she is sweet, friendly, and smart. And even if he is still able to reject her and tell me to get another therapist I will feel better that he at least talked to her and (hopefully) gave her a chance or consideration first. So I think it is a win/win!
Then just as soon as we worked out the therapist problem, my H emails me a new argument 2 seconds later! It really seems like H wants to keep up constant argument between us. Maybe it makes it easier for him to divorce me or something like that? I'm going to see the therapist tomorrow and see if she has any ideas for what I can do b/c I HATE the constant arguing he starts.
Maybe I'll have to keep trying to avoid him a lot like I did Sunday and his emails and everything if they're not related to the kids just not respond to them and ignore them?
I wish my H would switch to a different therapist b/c the one he's seeing for his anger issues the last couple months doesn't seem to help--he is just as angry most of the time as he was last year! I don't think I am a witch like he acts almost the opposite really--I still cook him dinner when he comes over and stuff like that and you know I always try to act friendly with H even when he is angry or distant (although I don't succeed all the time)!
If it's MLC I hope he will get through it soon!!! Karen
Don't let him drag you in. My H and I seem to always do this to each other and he always says he lets himself get dragged into it. I know I need to take my own advice. I was really good today though, D9 had a dentist appointment coming up soon that H made, I didn't know when, so I gave him a call. Yes, it was next Tuesday but now he couldn't take her. I told him it wouldn't work for me and he said he would call to reschedule once school is out. Said great that was all I wanted. bye. I could tell he sounded surprised that that was it just short and sweet. Yeah me! kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I was really good today though, D9 had a dentist appointment coming up soon that H made, I didn't know when, so I gave him a call. Yes, it was next Tuesday but now he couldn't take her. I told him it wouldn't work for me and he said he would call to reschedule once school is out. Said great that was all I wanted. bye. I could tell he sounded surprised that that was it just short and sweet. Yeah me! kat
That is wonderful, Kat!!! I think that is a really good example of what I really need to work on. I've been doing good on the short & sweet part, but just need to work on having kid-focused talks & discussions and not let my H drag me into all the other stuff as you pointed out!!! Karen
Maybe sometime, you want to just be gone when he comes over...you have plans. Just let him be with the kids. Be vague about your plans.....what do you think about that?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Maybe sometime, you want to just be gone when he comes over...you have plans. Just let him be with the kids. Be vague about your plans.....what do you think about that?
Sounds good SG! I actually am out sometimes when he is here, but--I'm terrible about being vague --I'm always telling H exactly what I'm up to. I'm a woman of NO mystery!!! I guess that's your point; I need to work on that??? Karen
I had a nice appt. as usual with my C this morning. I basically explained that I want to LRT with my H and just talk to him only on matters about the kids and not all the other divorce-related stuff we've been arguing about lately. She said I should say things like: It is my decision about where I live, and your decision to make about where you live. And other divorce stuff that will have to go through mediation and/or divorce court, I should just say we'll work on that later, unless it is related to the kids because we probably aren't going to resolve anything anyway we have such different views so it's pointless arguing.
I printed out a post GF made on grumpy's site (thanks GF!) re: this and intend to read it & remind myself every day b/c that is so hard for me!!! Karen
I def. think H is going through a MLC, so hopefully when he gets over it things will hopefully improve & get a bit better I hope!!! 
I think this will be a little scary (I'm actually kind of shy you know) but think this will be a lot of fun, too! 
It really seems like H wants to keep up constant argument between us. Maybe it makes it easier for him to divorce me or something like that? I'm going to see the therapist tomorrow and see if she has any ideas for what I can do b/c I HATE the constant arguing he starts. 
--I'm always telling H exactly what I'm up to. I'm a woman of NO mystery!!!