To be honest, I have GAL and have been trying to get things settled and to get me back where I need to be. Now that I have done that, it just seems like we are spinning our wheels. She has told me that she is going to work here again next year, but I have found out that she has made an application at a school over an hour and a half away. She talked about doing that early on, but has since changed her mind, or so I thought. It just seems like she is "playing me" until school is out and she is able to do something else. That really upsets me, but I have not said anything to her about it. I am just trying to be here without pushing like we have talked about. The problem is that I feel like I have given a lot the past 8 months and she has done nothing but be cold and hatefull. How much further do I have to go before I say enough is enough???
I am trying to stay strong, but its getting harder and harder. Its just hard to live with someone that you love and are so attracted to only to know they don't want you. Its like its rubbed in my face every night.
I know I am supposed to love her unconditionally, but its just getting harder to do with each passing day. I think my heart is getting hard toward her and I don't like it.
