I'm pleased to see you posting. I always got a lot out of your occasional posts over in MLC.
Originally Posted By: whitelight
2. He has a roommate who is a female. They have been friends for 10 years. She is in love with him. She will ask him ahead of time for dinner or something and he will always check with me first, but he will have a night with her. I really don't care if he has her as a friend. I'm not concerned about his feelings for her. But she will never join us when we invite her and I am not welcome to join them.
I've spoken to him before and said that when he emails me I always respond, but when I email him back, sometimes it's like he's just lost in Siberia because he doesn't respond back at all.
IMO, those are two, big, red flags. If roommate was really "a friend", she'd want to meet his new friends, and she'd be pleased for him. If she's in love with him, and he lives with her, sounds like a recipe for disasater for anyone else in his life.
(BTW, what do you mean "getting his needs met" with her?)
And as far as the email replies, his not keeping in touch as much as you'd like...well, there is nothing wrong with getting what YOU want in a R. So if he can't provide this...well...there are others you can and will. OTOH, some people think an email followed by a response is a complete, finished "conversation", no need for further follow up...
What does he say when you share your feelings about these two "issues" with him?
I'm glad you posted, it sounds like you have some doubts yourself and just wanted to see them in black and white. HIs current arrangements seem to stack the deck against him fully committing to a romantic R right now. JMO, natch.
