I'll confess, I haven't read your entire history like Sandi. But I've skimmed enough to have a feel for it (thanks for the recap, that really helps!) I agree, you've shown a lot of strength and courage, and you are to be commended for that!
First question: Why are you and H talking to this Crazy OW? (COW for short I guess! ) You know the drill: You can't control what someone else does, but you can control how you react to it. So, fine, you can't stop COW from calling at all hours of the day and night - but you certainly can refuse to answer the phone. (If you don't have a phone that shows you who is calling, that should be at the top of your shopping list!) You are giving her a real "payback" by answering her harassing phone calls, and by talking to her - and all you are getting in return is aggravation. So take back some control of your relationship with COW, right now, and stop picking up that phone! If it keeps ringing at 2AM, unplug it until morning. You are only at her beck and call - if you choose to be.
Second question: Wow, your H's alcoholism really scares me. I don't have personal experience with this kind of thing, but the amount of drinking you are describing is just completely "over the edge" IMHO. I'm sure it is going to take even more strength and courage for you do deal with this - but I just don't see how you can put that off forever. How does this issue "sit" between you and H? Most importantly, do you think you can ever get your M on a solid footing while this is still going on? On top of that, does he know you believe he needs help? Have you talked to him about the medicine? Does he expect that you will force the issue someday - even if you aren't ready to do that yet?
Many hugs to you! Rob
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
But I've skimmed enough to have a feel for it (thanks for the recap, that really helps!) I agree, you've shown a lot of strength and courage, and you are to be commended for that!
) You know the drill: You can't control what someone else does, but you can control how you react to it. So, fine, you can't stop COW from calling at all hours of the day and night - but you certainly can refuse to answer the phone. (If you don't have a phone that shows you who is calling, that should be at the top of your shopping list!) You are giving her a real "payback" by answering her harassing phone calls, and by talking to her - and all you are getting in return is aggravation. So take back some control of your relationship with COW, right now, and stop picking up that phone! If it keeps ringing at 2AM, unplug it until morning. You are only at her beck and call - if you choose to be.
