Today is the day I remember too well.... when this whole JOURNEY started 2 years ago. I feel different now and somehow stronger. And at the same time I am very humble.
I am grateful for the chance to have my Family intact.
I can remember the pain .
I always posted that it was almost tangible.
I clearly remember the ache when I wanted to call him in early evening and the pain I felt in the middle of my chest. I wanted to hear his voice and he really didnt want to hear mine. How he thought I was acting... that I really did not love him or change.
I was pretending. The immense pain of thinking this is over and I let this happen. I closed myself off and waited for him to do all the work after all he .....HURT ME!

~Falling flat on your face changes you from the inside so much when you put in work.

TODAY it is sunny and beautiful out and tomorrow our kids told him he has to go to MUFFINS FOR MOM. OUR s8 SAID "yOU KNOW DAD , MOM has been filling in for you." *( they also have DOUGHNUTS FOR DAD and only I go)*
If he goes tomorrow it will be the 2nd time he goes and the kids have been at that school for 3+ years and the last time he went was just around this time ( after the BOMB) and I had all I could do to stay calm and not break down and cry. I still remember it like it was yesterday.
We were sitting next to eachother but light years apart.

I am thankfully here today and in a better place after so much pain..... I think I am feeling the light on my face now and not just looking at it from a distance.... \:\) It is a blessing.....
God bless.....