God believes I'm worth it...

[cat03]

hey folks, thanks for all the input! my head is still reeling from the options.

And you have to refi in your name only

that pretty much would make me decide to go through with the loan, if in the future I have to refinance anyways I will have to pay for it, I was hoping that perhaps that the court has both Ss pay for the refinancing. If I have to refinance and get rid of him perhaps this is the way to go.

The clock is ticking, the loan lady told me the rate she gave me might not be good tomorrow, wish I could see a L now.

You could and you have the evidence (of A) to back it up. I'd put it to him like that if I were you.

I did, many times, he knows I have tons of evidence, picts and all. His answer "well, you'd still be screwed too, you'd loose $ in Ls and my L would fight the 5yr loan"
So basically, it's ok for him to loose $ as long as I do too.

He WILL lose a lot more than you either way.

Yes, he will loose, even the mediator told him he wouldnt get 50% of the house. He knows this, he doest care or as you say it is just him barking hoping I get scared and give in.

Kml, as of why he is doing this, he just wants his money OR leave his stuff there until I pay him. He has nowhere to put his stuff, not even a decent place to take kids to for a few hrs.

How was this figure arrived at that you would owe your H

I totally get what you say, at the beginning we did factor in the fact that a realtor would costs us 13k (I had one come home and give me an estimate).
Yes, the house is prized on todays market for 190k , minus 143k already paid leaves us with 47k, his half being 23k. His L told him that in court if I want to buy him out the judge will leave out realtor fees since I will be staying in the house.

you've mentioned that you would owe him money for debts. Assuming these are mutually acquired debts

Those are debts he had when he left the first time in 2005, plus perhaps 3k he accumulated after he left this year. That is his other threat, that since I took him back last yr and we are still M his L can make me pay for them even though they were all his expenses: suits for him, restaurants, gadgets and lots of things MLC/ow related purchases.
He agreed on taking that big debt with him, all the other joint cc debts we had were paid in full with our tax refunds.

OK, tell me if this is a good idea:

I offer him 16k now if he lowers the total debt to 21k, since I will be paying him a big amount in bulk instead of giving him 230 per month I'd give him 150$ with the promise to pay him the rest in 4yrs assuming he'll take his stuff out of the house and have a place of his own.