Pheonix, fig & BH, all posted some very wise posts that make the same point. We have to be able to stand alone before we can stand together and both paries have to be equal.
Sometimes it's just much more clear to other people through what we write as to what the problem really is. When we're in pain, that pain and emotion overshadow the truth. Think about what you KNOW now about the problems in your marriage, as compared to when you first separated from your spouse. It sure is easier from a distance to realistically take ownership of what we contributed to the divorce. Right now you are still knee deep in pain, so it's hard for you to be objective.
Take some time to really heal. Don't be hard on yourself. Think about going to a therapist.
I always feel that if something doesn't work out it means nothing more than it wasn't supposed to.
