When I go there in my head, and it's less and less, I still don't understand that first moment when he made the decision to give himself to someone else...that's still hard to even type.
I don't think he'll ever understand what this has done to me. Most of the time, I think that's probably okay... maybe even for the best. He carries so much guilt and regret for that period of his life that I find myself comforting him. Go figure.
There are some answers he just couldn't give me. His reassurance and remorse during those talks was essential for me though. I had to establish that we weren't just going to cover it up and pretend it didn't happen, that we had to make sure it'd never happen to us again.
Can't go around it, can't just get over it... gotta work through the pain to heal. I wish you the best!
