Isn't it just as true to say...if I am complete on my own, I wouldn't need anybody, therefore why have a relationship?
yup
no one NEEDS to be in a relationsip. You are in one because you WANT to be.
What I am saying is that you r wanting seems like desperation and you said you like to be a giver but you are taking from all these relationships...trying to take the good feelings, the icing on the cake
you are not ready to be in a relationship until you are OK with not being onthe receiving end.
You say you would rather be the giver but what you are doing is giving with expectations which isn't giving.
I am only saying this as I have been in a relationship with someone who talked your lines very much...just wanted me to be happy...just wanted me to feel love and I have to say it was smothering it was also rather smug and rubbed me the wrong way when he was going to show me what love really was...like I couldn't figure it out on my own...like I needed someone to take care of me. He said he listened to what I needed but he clearly didn't.
his "love" became smothering and eventually the thought of being with him made me cry...
time to get out
my sweet baboo is much different. I know he loves me (not because he tries to convince me by doing all sorts of stuff but because he just does it) I know sitting across from him and smiling at him makes his heart light up...I see it...I also don't feel obligated to make it happen...
does that make sense?
I too cut off all contact with the other person I had been dating and I cut my kids' contact off with him as well. He was too needy, too clingy...had crossed too many lines for it to be OK for him to remain a part of my life in any capacity.
my advice would be to stop trying to fill the void start trying to figure out why it is there instead
