Waves, big, small, ugly, peaceful. Yep, ride it out, it'll leave you feeling confident tomorrow (I find a sad wave is always followed by strength). HUGS
Maybe I have to wait one more day for the confident. I just need to journal now because it prevents me from contacting H. It seems No Contact for me is not a decision, it requires a tonne of trying. I want to send him a text saying "I cannot wait much longer" cause that is how I feel, I won't that is why I am typing instead.
I have contained myself for 2 days from asking why he was looking at the real estate listing on my computer the other day for the rental OW lives in. It is a constant struggle not to mention it. Part of me thinks he did it to cause a fight, he knows I check the history, it was the day he was supposed to move home and started a fight about the juice box. Then I would have got the "things never change, snooping again".
He is coming to D's gymnastics tonight, the second time in 3 weeks. She has been there for a year and a half and this will be the 4th time total so 2 in 3 weeks is significant. I don't think it in any way makes up for the fact that her daddy is a telephone every night when she goes to bed but at least he is taking one hour today for someone other than himself. He is also picking up my wrestling tickets today since the radio station is around the corner from his work.
Cross your fingers for me the draw for the martial arts membership is tomorrow. The DJ is so confused I have no idea what I would win if I do win. First it was I won a 2 month pass valued at $600. Then it was I won an entry in the draw for the 2 month pass. Today he said listen tomorrow because anyone who won this week is in the draw for 2 - 4 month memberships.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
