Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[Runswithscissors]

Copy/paste from other thread.

I know Forest hates when I do this... but I'm in a hurry and wanted to answer you.



Ok. So, if I go DARK. No texting him about the Doctor appointments or what's going on in my life or fishing for conversations, right?
------>that's a yes and a no. I say DO tell him in advance about Dr's appointments because you do NOT want to alienate him from your child's "life" and give him any cause for custody issues if GF pressures him. However, I would make it simple and if you can EMAIL him, that would be better. Something like "Dear Getyourheadoutofyour*ss, I have an appointment on X day at X time. Signed, Yourwonderfulwifewhohasaheartofgoldfornotcasteratingyour*ss.



What if he texts me and asks me something about the baby or a Doctor visit? Do I just ignore him?
------->No. Answer him ONLY to his questions on the baby. Nothing else. If he says did the appointment go well. You say "yes". Do not give him any more information.


That seems pretty harsh.
-------->Oh my stars (and I mean this with love).... what's harsh is his living with another woman and playing like he has another world and you all are going to be ONE big ole happy family!


Or do I answer it and leave it alone without trying to prolong the convo?
------>BINGO!


What if he texts "how r u feeling?" which he does from time to time. Ignore it?
------->YES


Wait a few hours?
------->Delete it


I'm not sure to what level I am supposed to cut him off. I HATE it when he ignores my texts. So, wouldn't I just be provoking anger in him? I don't think that is what I am supposed to be doing? Is it?
-------->so he gets angry? What could that do? Make him leave you and go live with another woman? (sorry, but I have to be blunt right now). What you want to do is to show him YOU don't NEED HIM.... You need your own independance and you need to learn that right now it's YOU and this baby. He "may" come around... He "may" not... but you have to be prepared to know it's just you. You do that by going dark. It's a very hard concept to grasp and it's VERY scarey to start... but when you do it... 1)the feeling is wonderful 2) they start wondering WTH is going on and they press more and show up more....

Remember in HS you always wanted the one you couldn't have? Have you ever played hard to get? If not, now is the time!